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Archive for February, 2005

monotone

having a hard time right now, with school stuffs and family work. got
my midterm grades already, and unlike before, i better keep them to
myself, only decent grade i got is in english. damn. been browsing
thru the net, and configuring my yahoo account. all boring. am
bored.so i gotta finish some requirements. reaction papers, projects,
reports and the like; not to mention practicing ‘cha-cha-cha’ for PE.
nothing new, same things that you’d got through in a student life.
pressure. from peers too.

——————————————————————————–

i seem to be turning into a sleepyhead. everytime i have philosophy
class, i try to sleep as much as i want to with my lab gown serving as
my pillow. you can’t blame me. i find my teacher boring, plus room’s
airconditioned and i sit at the back.

——————————————————————————–

im starting to make some friends here but not really the kind you’d go
to their house and get introduced by their parents or so. but still,
it’s a start. i mean, where will it lead right? had pep talks and
tagay sessions. i’m having red marks again… and one of them told me
not to eat taho or anything that has protein after drinking, or else
i’ll have allergies after.

——————————————————————————–

got a message from my close friends, and i must type this down. they
seem to have one thing in common when i talk to them.

“ed, do you know we can only hang out if you’re here???”

though it wasn’t all of them who said this, it seems ironic how one
can be so near and yet still be so far. never knew that i’m the only
link that binds the chain. but still it’s weird. oh yes, they see each
other, but not too often, only to the point of saying hello with a few
chitchats. and i wonder if i’ll be like that if i’m with them. maybe
this is the reason why i also am separated. to have at least something
to look forward to not only for myself, but for the whole troop as
well. the gang being together.

——————————————————————————–

my grandmother and aunt will be spending the week with us. haven’t
seen them for some time. at last, a family member visiting. they’re
neat freaks, so we had a lot of arranging and cleaning up to do. i
mean, we do clean-ups, but not really to the point of destroying our
abode. we’re all guys ‘cept for my mom, so you can imagine the hassle
it takes for us to do our necessities, especially the laundry. it’s
the least chore i like, and it’s all entrusted to me when my mom can’t
do it. even if there’s the reliable washing machine. it’s still a
bore, hate the denims in particular.

the house has a lot of damages, maybe that’s why the owner’s
compensating by being nice to us. but it’s better to have a bad house
but a nice landlord than otherwise. just that sometimes i cringe at
the thought of all the expenses that amounted for repair. much more
when you’re only renting. i guess it’s the price.

——————————————————————————–
so it’s hell week in school, everyone’s busy; for sure. got only at
least 4 weeks left till summer. oh well, going to have take some
classes then, badly, too. i mean, this is only a five year course. and
it won’t be till two-thousand-what till i can graduate.

posted Monday, 21 February 2005

A visitor made this comment,
ces’t la vie Ed. Good to know that you are doin well in copin up with
its intricacies. =)
Luck and prayers my friend! =)

nioa

comment added :: 22nd February 2005, 02:29 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
ah grabe, toxic nga ngayon. dami ko ring ginagawa. may bago pakong
pinagkakakitaan kaya dun din napupunta time ko. tapos babad pako lagi
sa araw. pero ok lang, kelangan e.
goodluck! lapit na summer! :)

amia

comment added :: 22nd February 2005, 10:37 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
ahhh, we all do suffer….but we got someone to hold on to.. he’s just
waiting….
God bless…..

rols

comment added :: 22nd February 2005, 11:55 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
and people wonder why i am on hiatus. yep, it really is hell week in
school. serious na tayo eh. =)
“the link that binds the chain…” -> yep, you are… so, so, and so.

nix

comment added :: 22nd February 2005, 13:37 GMT+08
nicole made this comment,
hang in there ed :D lapit na lang summer so konting tiis na lang
take care!
nicole

comment added :: 23rd February 2005, 07:40 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
just droppin’ by..who knows God works in wonderful ways..maybe a close
fren will be with u!! for long time:)
rols

comment added :: 23rd February 2005, 18:06 GMT+08
Shawty made this comment,
so youd been trying to increase your alcohol tolerance huh… wala
green boy with redmarks gihapon ka hahahahaha…
school sucks.

comment added :: 23rd February 2005, 23:09 GMT+08
ravissant made this comment,
hahaha! “general cleaning” rin pala kayo! I remember when we were
little our old maid aunt comes home from Mindanao we make sure we make
our house spotless. she’s very keen when it comes to cleaning. :)

comment added :: 24th February 2005, 07:11 GMT+08
CNBGirl made this comment,
konting araw na lang, tapos na ang school pressure na yan. goodluck! ;)

comment added :: 26th February 2005, 09:35 GMT+08
coleen made this comment,
be thankful for sem breaks / summer breaks…once you work there won’t
be any break at all.

comment added :: 8th March 2005, 17:42 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
busy as a bee, eh. but that’s alright than doing nothing at all. :)
Paul

comment added :: 8th March 2005, 22:00 GMT+08

buti pa sya

got this on a bulletin board in school. said that it was taken from a yearbook of the UP College of Psychology in 1989. but when i yahoo!ed it, got another result. anyway, read on.

Buti Pa Siya
buti pa ang kalendaryo, may date
buti pa ang hersheys, may kisses
buti pa ang probability, may chance
yung ibang tao, wala
buti pa ang telepono, hini-hello
buti pa ang film, nade-develop
buti pa ang typewriter, nata-type pan
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang exams, sinasagot
buti pa ang problema, iniisip
buti pa ang assignment, inuuwi
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang panyo, nadadalantay sa pisngi
buti pa ang baso, dinadampian ng labi
buti pa ang unan, inaakap sa gabi
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang kamalian, napapansin
buti pa ang salamin, minamasdan
buti pa ang hininga, hinahabol
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang tindera, nagpapatawad
buti pa ang awit at tugtog, pinagsasama
buti pa ang sugat, inaalagaan
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang lungs, malapit sa puso
buti pa ang bra, kakabit ng dibdib
buti pa ang kotse, mahal
yung ibang tao, hindi

buti pa ang pera, iniingatan
buti pa ang mahjong, sinasalat
buti pa ang damo, dinidiligan
yung iba diyan, hindi

buti pa ang sobre, nadidilaan
buti pa ang susi, naipapasok
buti pa ang itlog, binabati
yung sa akin, hindi

buti pa ang doorbell, pinipindot
buti pa ang keyboard, nafi-finger
buti pa ang bola, nilalaro
yung sa akin, hindi

buti pa…
magtrabaho ka na at baka…
masisante ka pa.

posted Monday, 14 February 2005

A visitor made this comment,
hahaha. iv seen this before. i think ginawan rin yan ng song. i cant remember kung sino. si gary granada yata? dunno. well, buti pa nga ang iba. LOL.
amia

comment added :: 14th February 2005, 09:31 GMT+08

nicole made this comment,
hi ed! oo nga buti pa sila lol anyway happy valentine’s day :D
take care
nicole

comment added :: 15th February 2005, 02:37 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
hehehe galing nga.. =)
nina

comment added :: 15th February 2005, 03:16 GMT+08

Nix made this comment,
uhuh!

comment added :: 15th February 2005, 09:04 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
the song was nice:) i remember apo hiking(?) society singing it in one of abs-cbn shows. but it was a long time ago…so i guess its their song.
the song was cool but “bastos” nga lang sa end….

rols

comment added :: 15th February 2005, 20:11 GMT+08

Shawty made this comment,
kuyawa natu ug background ed uy…
does ed needs love too?? lol

comment added :: 16th February 2005, 10:03 GMT+08

CNBGirl made this comment,
lol. yep, i think may song na nga to.. mahanap nga.. :)

comment added :: 16th February 2005, 13:27 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
may ganyan ngang song, gary granada, kasama sa metropop a few yrs back, at nanalo pa ata. hehe.
sedricke

comment added :: 19th February 2005, 12:18 GMT+08

to be numb

a little busy right now, with all the things going on. the first minute you’re finishing your school records (excluding yours) which you did successfully that in turn, sacrificed a day of class (and major subjects for that matter); the next minute you’re talking to a special friend about what’s happening in your everyday lives and how it’d been. serious talk. the kind where both of you are waiting for someone so while being a little patient, you consume yourselves in an intimate discussion as if there’s no tomorrow. just sitting beside one another, facing front and not each other. eyes staring in one direction, feeling as if in that moment, time had stopped. jesus i miss those conversations.

i have this feeling that i must numb myself from thoughts fleeting inside that lead to the point of depression. happy ones at that. i try to keep on telling myself that i’ve gotten over the fact that i’m not with the people i care anymore. cause in the past few weeks, i was. temporary happiness or whatever; well, it’s better than never. what’s with these rhymes? but i can’t lie to myself. how long must i keep a happy face?

haven’t seen ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ but from what i’ve heard, it’s about an erasure of one’s particular memory so not to indulge to thinking of the past. got this crazy idea, of doing that, erasing my memories so i can move on. but after twice-thinking, nah. i’d rather go for the numbing myself.

maybe it’s because what happened to me on why i’m like this is i got separated from the place and the people i love when i was at my utmost bliss. i was a well-rounded person that (i think) didn’t have enemies, people trusted or plainly liked me. a good student who also knew how to have fun. someone who tried to be friends with anyone, i was living a life. had no problems with drugs and the like (i still maintain my innocence by the way). oh yes, we were in deep shit financially, but that was the least of my worries so long as i kept myself busy, without thinking of the future ahead.

then i got disconnected. moreover at the time when i wasn’t able to absorb things. i wasn’t prepared. i may have said this before, but have you experienced being in a particular situation when suddenly, you got cut off? you didn’t know what happened next? only you understood that you’re away from the entities that made you who you are. when you’re glad to reach and achieve the reputation you wanted but suddenly, it was taken away by the same reason why you were there in the first place.

the memories are still alive because i keep them, equally preserved in a scrapbook full of stories, wonderful ones too. now i feel like i want to throw it away a la ashton kutcher in ‘the butterfly effect’ so not to dwell in them anymore. yeah burn my scrapbook, but thinking again, it cost me a lot of time and money on an english project-turned-personal -journal that it seems a waste if i throw it away. she advised me to lock it or hide it somewhere i can’t reach. so not to remind myself of the contents of its pages, nevermind if it had a lot of wrong grammars, at least i learned.

ah i’m not going anywhere. it’s like the reason why charlize theron and keanu reeves went each others’ ways in ‘sweet november’ (no pun intended) because she wanted to keep the memory strong so she can survive as she faced reality that she’s going to die soon. but no, i want to do the opposite, i want to share every moment with the people i care for so i may grow tired of seeing and being with them. that way, i won’t ever have reason to go back coz i’ll realize that things do change, and we meet other people that’ll probably keep our sanity or what’s left of it intact for the next few years.

yeah, grow myself tired. numb numb numb. come to think of it, how can i numb myself if they aren’t here? or better yet, if i’m not there? should i just be a miserable loner? forever? the rhyme’s getting ridiculous. anyway, most of my friends have gotten over it. why can’t i see the big picture? this is my weakness. therefore, i must overcome it. just don’t know a proper and less violent way. and it seems i’m typing like i don’t know what i’m trying to say. so i gotta end this one now. and oh, please, after reading this entry, don’t make that consoling face. i just want to get this out of my system. kaya, ang saya-saya!

posted Friday, 11 February 2005

Nix made this comment,
a good student who also knew how to have fun… -> you nailed it here… well, you were all that ed, a good friend, amazing student considering everything, and yet, you knew how to have a real good time… rare, so rare.
let us jsut try to help ourselves get over paradise friend, its been too long that we’re stuck in limbo.
comment added :: 11th February 2005, 10:48 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
the distance! huhuhu.. sweet november! huhuhu… memories… LOLlonely hearts club na naman tayo! LOL.amia
comment added :: 11th February 2005, 11:28 GMT+08
CNBGirl made this comment,
“I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you”wala lang… :Pcyber inuman na lang tayo sa monday. hehe… :)
comment added :: 11th February 2005, 20:55 GMT+08
Shawty made this comment,
yup CNB is right! so ed sali ka sa cyber inuman ok.ughhh i sugest you changed teenage angst.. hehehehe cge nagud ed try.. spontaneously driven common think of something ok hehehehe
comment added :: 11th February 2005, 21:31 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
nice pic:) huh?rols
comment added :: 12th February 2005, 14:48 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
=)dont take it wrong, thats not a consoling face but a smile. for being strong. of all the movies mentioned? I love the concept in the butterfly effect..nina
comment added :: 14th February 2005, 01:59 GMT+08
coleen made this comment,
shucks, di ako pwede sumali sa cyber inuman…buntis kasi ako. hehehe…seriously, cheer up boy!
comment added :: 14th February 2005, 09:03 GMT+08
edandhisdarkgreenlife made this comment,
nix, amia, cnb, shawty, rols: tagay na! lolnina and coleen: thanks!:-) lol
comment added :: 14th February 2005, 09:27 GMT+08