If you believe in love at first sight… take a closer look

went to school to have a group report work, but they never came (f#*&*!g bastards) at least a nearby mall was within reach, thought i’d watch CLOSER. spare me from being a little lagging behind these films. it was shown months before in another mall but i never got to see it. now that it was rescheduled (so i’ve heard), i sat for a 1 hour and 45 minute flick. didn’t realize i was paying double the price since the last time i went to a theater.

i like it though the dialogue was too much, saved me from searching for a lot of action. expressed how love changes when a you’re in a situation that you think doesn’t actually happen in movies. the darker side of infidelity was shown and how vocal people can be with how they feel towards each other which is a good thing (for me). anyone who strongly believes that “some things are better left unsaid” should watch this movie; hehe. it depicted the consequences of loving or to be clearer, making out with someone. how frustrating hearing or saying that three-worded phrase can be and proving it too.

what triggered me to watch it was aside from the reviews of how different this movie is to the typical romcoms (romantic comedies), i wanted to see natalie portman. now ladies don’t look at me in disgust. not that i didn’t want to see some flesh (but that’s not the main reason either). i kinda developed a fixation to this actress; nothing obsessive. just simply, i like her. i don’t think either that it’s a romantic comedy or a romantic movie for that matter. unless you think that talking about where they “did” it, or how “sweeter” her other lover was, is your idea of a funny joke. nevertheless i liked the way the movie was introduced and ended, people walking on a busy alley.

i dunno, it’s something about people walking that i find interesting, especially in a densely populated place, for instance new york; where people just mind their own business and not give a damn whatsoever. i don’t think it’s weird. call it a form of art or what. it’s the same as the appreciation towards sunsets, autumn, ripples or a drop of water falling from a leaf of a tree.

the best thing i guess is how real and desperate people react to the truth. no extra words of comfort to further make it more enticing. just plain realism and brief but long conversations. no other diversions that will lead to an ideal conclusion from the emotions of the parties involved. no further use of adjectives to describe their feelings, all direct to the point.

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on another side, saw a video from Dave Matthews Band entitled Everyday. what got me thinking was the concept of a fat guy in an orange shirt, complete with doofus glasses and a cap trying to hug every person that he would encounter in the course of his day. i dunno when the video was shot or got premiered, but it was the first time i saw that clip, so pardon me for being a little ignoramus.

anyway, at first, a lot of people thought of the guy as a jerk for coming up to people and asking if he could hug them then and there. he got some mixed responses and a lot of sneer from the people passing by. of course, in our day and age, who would dare to think otherwise, especially to a stranger? but sooner, he got more than what he asked for when a first victim (let me call it that way) returned his hug. after a few more, word got out of this unusual escapade of his. and soon, people were welcoming him and hugging him even when he didn’t initiate it.

now what’s so amusing about that? like i said, it’s nice to have some inspirational forms of act these days. a hug is a hug. it is a form of acceptance and comfort. we may never know the reason behind that act from a person. but sometimes, we can try to reciprocate without any strange reactions and just conform so to the least, the dependent is consoled. made me remember about a brother’s” entry about hugging. not that i ever need one right now. not that i don’t want one either.

rols

a reader left…
Thursday, 28 April 2005 1:48 pm
really? its that interesting? me wanna watch…

nix

Shawty left…
Friday, 29 April 2005 12:01 am
you need 4 hugs a day to survive…

i want to watch closer too. i noticed julia roberts always gets to be a photographer on her movies..

amia left…
Friday, 29 April 2005 9:00 pm
i didnt finish the movie. for some reason, i feel so depressed whenever i even hear the title. but i like it coz of the dialogue and how real it felt like. but the whole concept was just too much for me. maybe one day ill get to watch it completely.

nicole left…
Saturday, 30 April 2005 5:02 am
argh jude laaaw! lol you just made my day. i love that video from dave matthews makes me want to run around and hug people

take care!
nicole

a reader left…
Sunday, 1 May 2005 2:43 am
i didnt like the movie so much.. deception and cheating is not something i like to watch.. heheh but thinking of queen amidala strip tease is worth the watch..

*HUGS* =)

nina

e d left…
Monday, 2 May 2005 5:52 pm
rols: haha. cynics unite!

nix: check out for yourself. though you may not like it totally. i just wanted to see some people having to deal with problems for a change.

shawty: 4 hugs a day to survive? i probably died already. =p

amia: what’s wrong with the title? CLOSER… CLOSER… CLOSER…. hehe… lol

nicole: haha! thanks! careful careful, you may have one of your ‘bridget’ moments again. haha.

nina: yeah, that’s good enough for me! =)

i wonder why i’m not so active a student i once was. i mean, i don’t care that much anymore if i don’t get to recite in class so long as the instructor knows that i exist to fairly give me more than a decent grade.

take for example religion 10 class. by the way, it’s my first to have a RE ED subject in college because the previous school didn’t offer any. anyway, surely there are a lot of points to be brought up in the discussions that will create a more interesting way of interaction between the pupils, as well as the teacher trying to defend and give justice to his own beliefs. while also balancing everyone’s opinions in order to arrive to a fair conclusion. but no, i refuse to. or if i want to say something, i will wait for a considerable amount of time when the noise has subsided so i can expose my thoughts in a conditioned manner. but in that course, i don’t get to express myself at all cause i cower even at raising my hand. added that most of my classmates are fresh grads in high school so that also puts a level of social discrepancy between (read: i’m older or some of us are).

how about philosophy 25, the perennial question was asked on the first day of class. “What makes man truly human?” which is also a book written by a priest. the classical view, according to our teacher, which is aslo stated in the book, is this:

CLASSICAL VIEW:

MAN = body + life + senses + intellect & free will
ANIMAL = body + life + senses
PLANT = body + life
MINERAL = body

he told us to cite other ways beside the aforementioned of why human is really different from other beings here on earth. others said that it was our purpose in life, the ability to feel, our faith & spirituality, how we adapt ourselves, our capacity to gradually change, communication or language and etc.

i, on the other hand, so much wanted to be heard. but i never took the chance even if i had a lot. my answer would’ve been that i agree with the classical view, that the only difference from animals is our intellect and free will. because in a sense, we are all animals, it’s just the level of knowledge that we have that we can classify ourselves as human beings is what makes us human. kumbaga high class lang ang pagiging mga animals natin. it’s within that higher degree of intellect that we’re able to adapt ourselves to our environment, that triggers us to find our purpose in life, that we are able to feel because of how our brain reacts to the senses that we have. faith and spirituality are also connected because we won’t be able to believe in a Higher Being if we don’t know that there’s someone like Him in the first place. our capacity to gradually change, communication or language and etc. are all powered by our intellect because that’s where it all comes from.

i could’ve said that even if it would contradict his own because of his supporting phrase, “Parang hindi sya tao”. that MAN is more than that. and even if people would beg to disagree, i could’ve still chosen to share a point. it would spare me the sickness of being mentally absent.

but no, there i was, just sitting while intentionally hoping to get called when i could’ve opted for the simpler raising of the hand. or was it also the age gap? (read: they’re older than me).

apathy, the lack of interest. is it because i already learned to earn some dough when i had a job that it seems tiring to indulge myself to some minor subjects? but don’t get me wrong, i do make assignments and if given the opportunity to report, i’ll surely do my best. it’s just the reciting in class that bothers me.

philosophy, i sometimes bore myself finding the meaning of life because i’ll just die trying to. instead, i choose to live for the moment. why do i exempt myself as someone who doesn’t belong to the world and create a gap as if i’m some other being when in reality, i’m just a part of it? i can confidently say that i’m no sun for people to revolve around. but this is already beside the entry.

it must be the age difference. had i not been able to stop school, i could’ve stayed with my batchmates and still have the same energy i once had. but stopping school is another story too, so that leaves me to no option. age shouldn’t be an issue, just that it’s a factor.

it must be my taking advantage of minor subjects. like why should i exert so much effort when i could do that to more important ones (in which i almost flunked last sem!).

or it must be all of these plus my attitude. sheesh, it’s only a simple action (raising the hand and opening the mouth). i already developed a thick face even when i was still little so why bother thinking about insecurities when i don’t have anything to be inhibited about?

aaarrgghhh… sometimes i type as if i have a lot to say when i’m just going in circles. i am my own enemy. first minute you’re being optimistic in dealing with life’s hardships, the next minute you’re complaining on the simple things that any sane person can do.

and while on the verge of summer subjects; i, for the benefit of having a a lighter note to say, am glad to have learned something in english 21 about the 10 Cs in effective business writing. we should be concise. that is to keep it simple, stupid err… short and simple. but come to think of it, that doesn’t work here either in blogging. unless of course, you want to send me money. we’ll have to make an arrangement.

posted Friday, 22 April 2005

nicole made this comment,
hay i was like that when i was a student i get tongue tied everytime i speak out loud in class so many things to say pero ayaw lumabas lol
take care ed and have a good weekend!
nicole

comment added :: 23rd April 2005, 02:42 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
take advantage of the fact that they are younger than you are, being older has its high points. hmmm, things do change. but i agree, i also wonder what it would have been like if i had never stopped school, and be with our batchmates. but then again, as you said, no choice was offered.
nix

comment added :: 25th April 2005, 10:58 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
nicole: haha. i know what you mean. naaatat. lol.
another nicole, nix: haha, to take advantage? i give let them rake all the opportunities na lang. they can blab all they want. basta at least, ill be given more than a decent grade nix. ocus na lang ko sa mga majors.

ed

comment added :: 27th April 2005, 13:34 GMT+08

phew. so i was absent for awhile. hehe. been at home most of the time if i’m not working in the morning.

one of the best news i got so far, i PASSED!!!

the previous entry i exclaimed that i failed one of my major subjects last sem. well when i got my grades, i didn’t. i said that i had no other hope left because i didn’t want to expect anything, or if i did, it would be the worst, which is failing. at least now i’m eating my words and still it’s a good thing. can’t say how relieved i am to just look at those grades, although they aren’t the best i’ve got so far, it’s good enough for me. just have to do better this summer.

yes folks, i’m taking up summer classes, as if my life’s not already busy enough with the business we’re trying to be here in. okay just to tell you what we’re doing. we’re trying to market a certain fruit in this side of the island. so far so good i must say, even if we’re not earning that much, quantity over net profit is all i can say. coz the sooner we increase the number of supplies, the more will we retrieve. my father also said that it’s not good if we earn a lot. at least in due process, what we learn is already what we gain. the only thing i hate is every friday (since that’s the time the supply arives) we must wake up early in the morning to get them. 3 of us brothers go the pier and carry loads of crates at approximately 37 kilos each, and deliver them to our clients.

i mustn’t complain that much though, coz who do we got to hope for? nada! if you include hiring someone to do some of the tiring job for you then it’s a total waste of manpower when we can handle it ourselves. besides we’re still in the development method so what’s the use of teaching someone if you yourself don’t know what your selling and how the system works right? conjointly, it’s just a matter of will and how you overcome laziness by being more disciplined is the challenge. school just serves as the return of investment.

so back to summer, since my sked’s already booked in the morning, i applied for afternoon classes:

1:30-3:30 = REED 10 : man in search of God
3:30-5:30 = ENGL 21 : business correspondence
5:30-7:30 = PHILO 25 : philosophy of the human person/ philosophical anthropology

i took minor subjects coz i haven’t got the hang of it yet, this is just my first time. also since i still can’t stand more or less, 2 hours of discussion of numbers when your mind still can’t comprehend what you took up before. the topics amounted to 9 units, still a full-load; to maximize time too. and also to reduce the degree of expenses since the miscellaneous fees will be divided accordingly compared to paying the same extent with just two classes.

the vacation that’s long been deprived of me will still be out of my reach. but i don’t have time to think of having fun as of the moment. life’s been too uptight that it’s hard to put relaxation in our order of business. time’s been too rough that we need to devaluate the cost of money in order to compensate for more practical operations. and in tough situations, there’s no need to take pity on myself, it’ll still be my loss if i do that, no need to compare myself to other much-privileged children out there, we all have different backgrounds.

magkano na ba ang gasul ngayon? bawal magkasakit! at bilog ang mundo! and even so, i’m glad that we’re one of the few people who’ve at least been given the opportunity to change gradually. and we shouldn’t waste any of it now that it’s within our grasp. we just have to hasten the method and really hope for the best. let’s see what’ll happen then.

posted Monday, 11 April 2005

A visitor made this comment,
you got english 21 already? how come? 3rd year ka na pag june? hmmm… anyway, good luck ed. keep the faith.
nix

comment added :: 11th April 2005, 18:11 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
carry on, ed. delay gratification and reap your rewards after.
Paul

comment added :: 11th April 2005, 20:13 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
gud, for u at least some of us have to pass..
rols

comment added :: 12th April 2005, 19:10 GMT+08

CNBGirl made this comment,
good. that’s the attitude.

comment added :: 13th April 2005, 15:09 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
ana gyud bai! =) heheh
Keep at it Ed.. =) It will pay off soon..
nina

comment added :: 14th April 2005, 01:12 GMT+08

nicole made this comment,
congrats ed!!
take care
nicole

comment added :: 14th April 2005, 02:39 GMT+08

Shawty made this comment,
man good thing you did not retake PE2 i doubt too coz you always have that dancing skills.. right ed *winks* hahahaha
abi nako baligya namo shabu hahahah joke

comment added :: 15th April 2005, 03:12 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
nix: no, the pre-requisites are only english 1 & 2, i finished both already, next sem, mag engl 3 pako.
paul: bro, yeah nasa huli ang puting bato. -layo- hehe.

rols: gud luck sa results rol.

cnb: yes ma’am! =)

nina: haha, gahi dyud kaayo ang bisaya! hehe. thanks.

nicole: salamat! seems like u had a terrific time.

shawty: i was a little apprehensive in making that comment on that entry of yours. *wink* haha. shhhhhhhhhhhh!!! on shabu, nachismis bya mig ing-ana sa dgte. hehe. at least i know where to look when we’ll start that kind of business. *double wink* hehe…

ed

comment added :: 17th April 2005, 16:55 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
i like your subjects. i liked summer class bec i could concentrate more with lesser people. at d ako nale-late.
‘what we learn is what we gain’ - i like this best.
crunch

comment added :: 17th April 2005, 19:03 GMT+08

amia made this comment,
eddd! your alive! and so am i. haha. im also busy this summer but i guess i like it that way. and who am i to complain, i still have my share of fun anyway.
*thinks about all the reports, the teaching, and the training i have to do.. plus school papers..

..ack.

comment added :: 18th April 2005, 15:26 GMT+08

edandhisdarkgreenlife made this comment,
crunch: naks, thanks. ako ayoko sa mga subjects… hehe.. only engl 21.
amia: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!!! hehe… lahat tayo busy. skul na next sem! at least di ka nagiging bum.

comment added :: 22nd April 2005, 19:56 GMT+08