i wonder why i’m not so active a student i once was. i mean, i don’t care that much anymore if i don’t get to recite in class so long as the instructor knows that i exist to fairly give me more than a decent grade.

take for example religion 10 class. by the way, it’s my first to have a RE ED subject in college because the previous school didn’t offer any. anyway, surely there are a lot of points to be brought up in the discussions that will create a more interesting way of interaction between the pupils, as well as the teacher trying to defend and give justice to his own beliefs. while also balancing everyone’s opinions in order to arrive to a fair conclusion. but no, i refuse to. or if i want to say something, i will wait for a considerable amount of time when the noise has subsided so i can expose my thoughts in a conditioned manner. but in that course, i don’t get to express myself at all cause i cower even at raising my hand. added that most of my classmates are fresh grads in high school so that also puts a level of social discrepancy between (read: i’m older or some of us are).

how about philosophy 25, the perennial question was asked on the first day of class. “What makes man truly human?” which is also a book written by a priest. the classical view, according to our teacher, which is aslo stated in the book, is this:


MAN = body + life + senses + intellect & free will
ANIMAL = body + life + senses
PLANT = body + life
MINERAL = body

he told us to cite other ways beside the aforementioned of why human is really different from other beings here on earth. others said that it was our purpose in life, the ability to feel, our faith & spirituality, how we adapt ourselves, our capacity to gradually change, communication or language and etc.

i, on the other hand, so much wanted to be heard. but i never took the chance even if i had a lot. my answer would’ve been that i agree with the classical view, that the only difference from animals is our intellect and free will. because in a sense, we are all animals, it’s just the level of knowledge that we have that we can classify ourselves as human beings is what makes us human. kumbaga high class lang ang pagiging mga animals natin. it’s within that higher degree of intellect that we’re able to adapt ourselves to our environment, that triggers us to find our purpose in life, that we are able to feel because of how our brain reacts to the senses that we have. faith and spirituality are also connected because we won’t be able to believe in a Higher Being if we don’t know that there’s someone like Him in the first place. our capacity to gradually change, communication or language and etc. are all powered by our intellect because that’s where it all comes from.

i could’ve said that even if it would contradict his own because of his supporting phrase, “Parang hindi sya tao”. that MAN is more than that. and even if people would beg to disagree, i could’ve still chosen to share a point. it would spare me the sickness of being mentally absent.

but no, there i was, just sitting while intentionally hoping to get called when i could’ve opted for the simpler raising of the hand. or was it also the age gap? (read: they’re older than me).

apathy, the lack of interest. is it because i already learned to earn some dough when i had a job that it seems tiring to indulge myself to some minor subjects? but don’t get me wrong, i do make assignments and if given the opportunity to report, i’ll surely do my best. it’s just the reciting in class that bothers me.

philosophy, i sometimes bore myself finding the meaning of life because i’ll just die trying to. instead, i choose to live for the moment. why do i exempt myself as someone who doesn’t belong to the world and create a gap as if i’m some other being when in reality, i’m just a part of it? i can confidently say that i’m no sun for people to revolve around. but this is already beside the entry.

it must be the age difference. had i not been able to stop school, i could’ve stayed with my batchmates and still have the same energy i once had. but stopping school is another story too, so that leaves me to no option. age shouldn’t be an issue, just that it’s a factor.

it must be my taking advantage of minor subjects. like why should i exert so much effort when i could do that to more important ones (in which i almost flunked last sem!).

or it must be all of these plus my attitude. sheesh, it’s only a simple action (raising the hand and opening the mouth). i already developed a thick face even when i was still little so why bother thinking about insecurities when i don’t have anything to be inhibited about?

aaarrgghhh… sometimes i type as if i have a lot to say when i’m just going in circles. i am my own enemy. first minute you’re being optimistic in dealing with life’s hardships, the next minute you’re complaining on the simple things that any sane person can do.

and while on the verge of summer subjects; i, for the benefit of having a a lighter note to say, am glad to have learned something in english 21 about the 10 Cs in effective business writing. we should be concise. that is to keep it simple, stupid err… short and simple. but come to think of it, that doesn’t work here either in blogging. unless of course, you want to send me money. we’ll have to make an arrangement.

posted Friday, 22 April 2005

nicole made this comment,
hay i was like that when i was a student i get tongue tied everytime i speak out loud in class so many things to say pero ayaw lumabas lol
take care ed and have a good weekend!

comment added :: 23rd April 2005, 02:42 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
take advantage of the fact that they are younger than you are, being older has its high points. hmmm, things do change. but i agree, i also wonder what it would have been like if i had never stopped school, and be with our batchmates. but then again, as you said, no choice was offered.

comment added :: 25th April 2005, 10:58 GMT+08

A visitor made this comment,
nicole: haha. i know what you mean. naaatat. lol.
another nicole, nix: haha, to take advantage? i give let them rake all the opportunities na lang. they can blab all they want. basta at least, ill be given more than a decent grade nix. ocus na lang ko sa mga majors.


comment added :: 27th April 2005, 13:34 GMT+08

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soloflightEd.com is a travel blog by Edcel Suyo. He enjoys performing headstands and crazy stunts during his trips in the Philippines, Southeast Asia, and the Middle East. Now based in Dubai, United Arab Emirates and working to earn a living, he takes time to enjoy the city and travel during weekends.
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