am i spiritual or religious???

it’s holy week, today’s good friday, and i’m here… blogging… what
a way to fast write??? hehe….

i came from work… tapos akala mo nag-pupuasa(nag-fafast) yung mga
tao dito… eh yung mga order ko puros manok, burger, champ, and
everything that spelled meat-meat-meat!!! ang sarap pagsabihang hoy!
wag muna nga kayong kumain ngayon!!! hehe… but come to think of
it… sometimes i wonder about my religion… i have a problem
regarding my faith and beliefs right now…

i was educated a catholic at a catholic school from nursery up to
highschool…. and from then, i learned to make the sign-of-the-cross,
knew about the story of creation, that there is a God, or a higher
Being up there, got acquainted with the 7 sacraments, the 10
commandments, and doing some venial and some mortal (but not very
grave) sins… the ceremonies in the church, gospel songs, prayers,
and memorized all the books in the old and new testament… not to
mention the endless projects of community outreach, church cleaning in
our christian living/religion subjects… and passing both in written
and oral exams about the rules, the stories, and etc…

back then, i got very angry if we would eat meat during lenten season and Las Vegas Show Tickets. i was the mere by-product of christian education…. haha… now i
laugh it all of…. i’m practicing to be more spiritual now than
religious… i feel confused at times because there’re so many rules
and so many beliefs and so many traditions about being a Catholic….
i know i believe in You that you exist there (somewhere, or everywhere
for this matter)… but i get confused about the traditions…
sometimes it’s the rituals that i follow more than my heart in loving
You… i wish that we’d all be in unity and there would be no laws on
what to do, of not to eat, of the prayers to say, and the words to
preach, because all in all… it’s just me and Him… of whether i
have been good or not… i don’t think that we’ll end up in hell just
because i didn’t eat meat during the holy days or didn’t say the act
of contrition after confession… or not getting my head put some dust
during ash wednesday or not following the rituals and memorizing them
word for word…. because when it comes down to the bottom line…
it’s just between you and Him… have you been treating your neighbors
alright? have you been living your life to the fullest? or to make it
simple, have you been good??? i guess that’s it… have you been
good??? but hinking twice… what level of goodness is it???
—————–whoops!!————– where am i headin??? am i
making any sense at all??? hehe….

anyway, some questions pop into my mind while watching The Passion:
"dear Jesus! Why didn’t you show your true power??? Why did you let
them make you suffer??? Isn’t it what they want??? to see your might
and strength??? and the whispers… make them see who you really
are!!! c’mmon do the dividing of the ocean miracle, turn that wooden
cross into a large anaconda! make your voice more authoritative… do
something! help Yourself!!! why oh why did you have to suffer like
that??? why? why did you let them do this to you? you endured that
painful scourging when you could have instantly put an invisible
shield around you! why did you let them crown you with sharp thorns…
why did you let them make you carry that heavy wooden cross with you
falling tragically over and over again? why did you let them crucify
with the unrecgnizable you in pure agony???

i almost cried… (but didn’t) of the time when youl said to your
Father: "Forgive them… they know not what they’re doing…. " after
all the torture! before you made your last breath…. you looked up…
whispering: Father, forgive them, they know not what they’re doing…
you still forgave them! you still forgave and is still forgiving us
for very sin we committed… for all the wrong doings we made… wrong
doings i made……..

"Father, forgive them, they know not what they’re doing…"

posted Friday, 9 April 2004

Futaneshka made this comment,
bakit nag iba kana ng anyo?
haha.. link kita. =)
nga pala, asan na si dgboy?


comment added :: 11th April 2004, 22:43 GMT+08
CNBGirl made this comment,
i’m also catholic and i studied in a catholic school… when i grew
older, i realized that spirituality is different from religion. i
learned not to be legalistic about all the traditions and dogmas
happy easter!

comment added :: 13th April 2004, 15:12 GMT+08
samplawer made this comment,

comment added :: 14th April 2004, 07:14 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
i hope i’m forgiven too. i’ve been questioning Jesus for a while
now….is he really the messiah/christ, or was he just a human being
with a special gift. sometimes i just refer to him as Jesus of
nazareth, instead of Christ. i’m confused. but i still do think of
myself as a spiritual person… just not religious. i still believe in
a higher being… that something or someone is watching over me. i
believe that every living thing, maybe with the exception of plants,
has a soul.. and that things happen for a reason…
by the way, good for you for having the mental capacity to memorize
all the books of the old and new testaments!! i’m impressed. but did
you really? gosh, i don’t think i can do that. hehehe i can hardly
remember my friends’ alternating cellphone numbers. hehe


higala sa cyberspace

comment added :: 14th April 2004, 13:29 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
i watched the film just recently. really great experience. i think i
cried half the time. 😉

comment added :: 16th April 2004, 14:09 GMT+08
A visitor made this comment,
ur so ryt. we shud be more spiritual dan religious.
same questions popped into my mind while watching d movie. that’s how
He loves us.

anyway, just blog-hoppin. i’ll link you. 😀


comment added :: 17th April 2004, 22:39 GMT+08
Shawty made this comment,
i havent seen the movie but i really want too!!
yeah your right we should not base our faith because of tradition. if
you got faith you got it. sometimes things are just too good to be
true we often not believe it.

comment added :: 20th April 2004, 15:31 GMT+08

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