stop before it strikes.
emotions distressed,
indifference practiced.
no sentiments nor reactions.
stillness maintained to devoid myself.
this is just a phase,
calm yourself, get up.
you are no sun.
fucking reality.
when will nostalgia silence me?
the drama of life,
it’s all BS.

i think i’ve used up all my breaks and vacations and on-leaves that i find it hard just to lower myself down to the floor and debug the simple problems that are creating havoc when not attended in full. i believe that for the remaining years, i’ll always be working.

sometimes i feel i’m fed up. when trying to find one’s worth is just too daunting a task like hand-washing and wringing denims. maybe that’s why i never pulled the courage to finish the Purpose Driven Life. sure, i’ve read some parts of it, but i stopped. now, am i really ready enough to take in all its comments and insights? or am i just making it harder to bear? c’mmon, it’s just a book.

had a nice chat with friends and realized that we all do go through certain points in life that can up us a step or cower at the thought. suicidial issues mustn’t be part of your itinerary. when one is forced to decide whether to continue living or end life. it’s hard. especially when you don’t know what comforting words should be typed cause you neither have the right nor the wisdom to do so.

life’s tiring. even mentioning it plagues your actual goals which creates another diversion to the necessities that one should be giving more attention to.

i don’t like college. this transition isn’t a very good one. i turned 19 more than a month ago. obviously, i never wrote anything on that date. “good riddance” is all i can say to my 18th year of oddly existence. it wasn’t a pleasant experience. though i’m having troubles enrolling this sem; still, when am i not? if ever i’m privileged, i still have 3 and a half years to pursue. but i can’t seem to wait that long.

this entry couldn’t be any more depressing. banging one’s head literally with one’s fists isn’t the only torture one has thought of and actually done to rid the ache. and to think that i’m already through with angst. apparently, i’m not well. i want to stop blogging that i guess the only thing that’s keeping me from deleting this pathetic site is its two-lettered nick. any takers?

what a way to update. so what does one do when he’s bored to death from too much pixel intake? dance the Pinoy Big Brother song.

posted Wednesday, 2 November 2005

nina made this comment,
hmmm write it all down.. that can help you not only with your boredom? but with whatever it is you are feeling as well.. *hugs*

comment added :: 2nd November 2005, 22:23 GMT+08
nix made this comment,
sometimes all we need is a nice talk with good old friends to make it all better. yeah, life’s hard, life a mean old bitch, so hard to accept the ‘take it or leave it’ deal huh?
take it one day at a time…

comment added :: 3rd November 2005, 12:03 GMT+08
Shawty made this comment,
try to remember those days when you use to dance on science or filipino day.. i bet that would give you a damn good laugh

comment added :: 6th November 2005, 11:07 GMT+08
Paul made this comment,
i want to say ‘okay lang yan, Ed’. we all pass through hard times. absorb all the learnings. either they make you a better person or worse than you can imagine. take your pick. good luck, you’re young and opportunities abound. 🙂

comment added :: 7th November 2005, 14:11 GMT+08
CNBGirl made this comment,
the hard and tiring episodes in our life makes us appreciate the good things we have, and makes sweet memories all the more sweeter. in the years ahead, you’ll look back to this day and say, ‘this episode in my life made me the strong person i am now. i’m glad i experienced it whan i was 19.’
hang on, there. good luck. 🙂

comment added :: 14th November 2005, 10:02 GMT+08
ed made this comment,
nina: will do. thanks.
nix: i can’t. 🙁

shawty: art’s and culture day tenz. ;p

paul: yeah, i sometimes forget im only 19. thanks.

cnbgirl: i’m gonna quote you again one of these days. hehe. 🙂

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Please don't forget to confirm your subscription by checking your Inbox. is a travel blog by Edcel Suyo. He enjoys performing headstands and crazy stunts during his trips in the Philippines, Southeast Asia, and the Middle East. Now based in Dubai, United Arab Emirates and working to earn a living, he takes time to enjoy the city and travel during weekends.
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