twice

In our journey through life, opportunities come and go easily; and I
have been tested by it twice (well, at least during 4th year). The
first was the University of the Philippines College Admissions Test (
UPCAT). It was posted on the blackboard in our classroom. After
reading the whole thing, I just stood there and didn’t care. I said to
myself: “No use of applying, it’s not even for a scholarship.” After a
few weeks, our guidance counselor asked me why I didn’t apply for it
when, in fact, the application for scholarship was included in that
test (I mustn’t have read the whole details properly). So I stood
still of what she said…

The other one was the PMA (Philippine Military Academy)
Application form; still, another test. Some classmates invited me to
join them. I had doubts, and soon, turned the test down. For I asked
myself: “Why am I gonna take this course? Is this what I really want
to be when I grow up? No! I am enrolled in schools with high standards
(or at least I thought so) and I just don’t want to be a protector of
the nation (I’m not trying to discriminate the army or anything but
given my kind of situation…)”. So, I just didn’t care again.

Twice… why did I turn them down? It was hard for me to
accept that I could’ve grabbed them in those moments. But why didn’t
I? Is it because while I was in Grade 6, I didn’t pass the PhilSci
(Philippine Science) Entrance Examination in Davao that I am afraid to
commit the same embarrassment again? Is it because of pride that I
crave for a better job? (I’m really discriminating the army) Or am I
just plain stupid? There’s nothing wrong in trying. Besides, that
PhilSci test was four years ago! Maybe that’s the reason… I’m afraid.
I’m too pessimistic. How will I know if I’m capable of succeeding if I
will not try? It’s true what they say that past mistakes haunt us,
that’s what happened to me. That’s when I’ve learned that we most
forget the past, and go on with the present to have a good future. And
that’s why there’s a school. We are studying to develop everything
that needs to be developed. By applying what we have learned, that’s
the time when we will know if we are capable of doing something or
not. My advice is don’t be afraid, be courageous! Have confidence when
you are trying to experiment with new things (as long as it’s good).
Be optimistic! As for me, the two opportunities that just passed
through served as a lesson. These opportunities are for my future. I
decide what I want to become. To make my life worth living…

posted Tuesday, 30 September 2003


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soloflightEd.com is a travel blog by Edcel Suyo. He enjoys performing headstands and crazy stunts during his trips in the Philippines, Southeast Asia, and the Middle East. Now based in Dubai, United Arab Emirates and working to earn a living, he takes time to enjoy the city and travel during weekends.
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For questions, advertising, and other concerns, shoot an email to ed@soloflighted.com.


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